plooptionary

I’ve got to give this a bit more thought but I’ve realised my son just isn’t special enough.  He’s a loser.  Rubbish.  An un-son.

He has no allergies and isn’t intolerant to any foods.  It’s the 21st century and the little squirt needs to wise up.  You get zero attention, nothing at all, if you don’t flare up when someone mentions the words peanuts down the ‘phone.  No one loves you if you can drink cows milk.  And don’t get me started on wheat:  my son can eat bread and pasta without bloating and it’s an embarrassment.

I’ll find a solution.  In the meantime Charlie (if you’re reading - which is unlikely as you’re only three and at school being healthy as we speak) watch your back.  I’m onto you.  Develop a rash big guy.  Soon

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