plooptionary

plooptionary - ploop’s weasel words and bullshit phrases fresh from the reeking bowels of consultants. (6 of 100)

Thanks to Bob for a ‘heads up’ about a meeting his wife was in.  His phrase takes pride of place as phrase 6 in the plooptionary.

* "Pickled in aspic": The context here is a meeting Bob’s wife was in.  He didn’t really leave that kind of detail as you’ll see from his post. But let’s take a flyer - small business owner and all round dimwit Jamie Round has seen the arse fall out of sales at his conservatory company.  With absolutely no idea how to turn his company’s fortunes around he decides to invite in the piss-weak sales force and directly blame them.  Having read once in the Reader’s Digest Book of efficient management that you should never point out problems without solutions, Jamie arms himself with a head full of jargon that he thinks will make the salesmen more creative.

"Guys, we’re in a spot of bother.  The conservatories aren’t shifting and we need to be a little more creative at getting in warm leads.  You need to start thinking outside of the box.  Our traditional sales route of cold calling isn’t pickled in aspic - I want you thinking MyTube, YourSpace, interactivity … you know, all that red button crap."

"There are kids out there who are gagging for a conservatory - but they’re picking them up on second life NOT as they walk out of the doors of Homebase.  You’ve gotta be creative guys or we’re up the swanny"

Pickled in aspic - probably exactly how Bob’s wife heard it!

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