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Open source ploop science

OK, I’m far too busy watching and posting over at Godtube today so my usual prolific posting rate might be a little down.  By the way - Godtube has just taught me the difference between truth and deception.  It took 56 seconds and now I’m a far better man and I didn’t feel remotely patronised when watching the video.  In the interim I’ve been puzzling over the graph below:

 workplace ploop science graph

 If the subsection (workplace wankers) is made up of a combination of A and B, what do you think they are?  I have my hunches but I’d rather people let me know their views.  Remember “you don’t have to be mad to work here … but it helps!” (I’ve boiled three people in my own bile who’ve had this sticker on their desk)

Now listed on humor-blogs.com but a little pissed I’m not near the top!

Popularity: 9% [?]

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20 Comments so far (Add 1 more)

  1. But Dolores: cool +cash = supercool

    1. ploop on May 8th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
  2. Love the coffee cup too. Never mind the money, let’s do it so we look cool.

    2. Dolores on May 8th, 2007 at 6:47 pm
  3. Jake, you are right. I’ll float it via the board and if we can mainline some ball smashing ROI from it we’ll spin

    3. ploop on May 8th, 2007 at 6:42 pm
  4. love your coffee cup Ploop!

    4. Jake Mayle on May 8th, 2007 at 5:10 pm
  5. i suspect that the real winners in Ploop’s burgeoning product development line will be the shareholders…

    i for one am prepared to put some money into this venture in return for a piece of the pie…

    5. Jake Mayle on May 8th, 2007 at 5:09 pm
  6. This took me two minutes - so something along these lines?
    http://www.plooptionary.com/product-development/

    6. ploop on May 8th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
  7. The only way this is going anywhere is with delegation.

    However some research has uncovered that cafepress.com could do something - I’d be happy to put up ads here (and I’m sure you’d do the same Dolores) … Jake you’ll need to get a soap box and shout from it to earn your share.

    It appears from cafepress we could get mugs and tshirts done - they don’t get printed until we actually sell something. I’d also supplement the ‘online shop’ with some graphs for tshirts and we’re rolling ….

    7. ploop on May 8th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
  8. Er dunno. Oh rats, seems like they’re only about $1.99. Probably not such a great earner unless we order a trillion.

    Or how about business cards? Can’t you get them done free on the internet? Then people could have a little stack to hand out to office wankers as and when they meet them. With plooptionary.com on them! Yeah? Yeah?

    Why not offer a third of your share to someone to do the actual work? Who could give a third of their share to some other people for a £500 admin fee each? And I could just sit here until my Porsche arrives.

    Hmmm - having an idea for a new diagram. A pyramid shaped diagram.

    8. Dolores on May 8th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
  9. what should we charge per sticker?

    what is the going rate for bumper stickers?

    i’ve never knowingly bought one in my life, as i’m sure no honest Plooper has…

    now, who can we get to delegate this task too????!

    9. Jake Mayle on May 8th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
  10. Thanks Jake, you’re bloody marvellous yourself.

    What say Jake gets them printed, ploop sells them on the site and we go thirdses on the ££££££££££ profit?

    10. Dolores on May 8th, 2007 at 11:32 am
  11. i’m loving Dolores bumper sticker… i think Ploop should order a couple of thousand and send them to offices around the world.

    it sums up a lot of what Ploop stands for i think.

    bloody marvellous you are Dolores.

    11. Jake Mayle on May 8th, 2007 at 9:03 am
  12. A = secretly has ambitions to be boss
    B = resents those that are in charge and feels unnoticed, underpaid and underappreciated

    A = too mean to shower or wash clothes frequently
    B = chews noisily and farts frequently

    12. Rebecca James on May 8th, 2007 at 12:22 am
  13. buttholes comes to mind.
    What? That’s what the illustration looks like! Sort of.

    13. Zoning Out Again on May 7th, 2007 at 8:05 pm
  14. That made me laugh out loud Dolores - you are a marketing genius

    14. ploop on May 3rd, 2007 at 7:50 pm
  15. Hey! Hey! Just had brilliant merchandising idea!

    Stickers that say:

    “You don’t have to be a wanker to work here… but you are”

    15. Dolores on May 3rd, 2007 at 7:27 pm
  16. Beenzzz Dolores and Jake - all fine suggestions fuelled with a fine amount of cynicism. Never lose the cynicism Dolores and, as beenzzz rightly says, never feel sorry for the wankers

    16. ploop on May 3rd, 2007 at 6:52 pm
  17. Dolores,
    No, you musn’t feel sorry for the wankers. Your A and B are brilliant! I’m having a bad week. No creativity in my mind. Damn sleep is making me boring!

    17. Beenzzz on May 3rd, 2007 at 6:44 pm
  18. A = Outwardly cheerful in a brittle unconvincing way
    B = Covering up deep-seated sense of impotence and emptiness

    Oh no! What have I done? I now feel sorry for the workplace wankers and want to befriend them.

    18. Dolores on May 3rd, 2007 at 6:25 pm
  19. A= Overly positive

    B= Likes to touch base

    A= Feigns importance of job title

    B= Makes $20,000 a year

    19. Beenzzz on May 3rd, 2007 at 3:30 pm
  20. A = In a position of power

    B = lack of experience

    it’s obvious… but true…

    20. Jake Mayle on May 3rd, 2007 at 11:20 am

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