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ploopology - mystical star signs for busy execs

Ploopology - the weekly slot of quick, at-a-glance star signs that can be taken on board by the time -tarved executive on the run.  They can be sent via SMS to board directors worldwide - allowing them to make ill-informed decisions based on their birth signs. 

Power sentence astrology for the time hungry executive (week two - May 23rd):

Capricorn: “Sit up straight”
Aquarius: “Mercury is frying up ideas in you mind wok”
Gemini: “Wibble Wobble Wibble Wobble Jelly on a Plate”
Leo: “Eat your greens”
Scorpio: “Nervous times hey?”
Virgo: “Is there someone in power who likes accordions?”
Cancer:  “You need evergreen solutions″
Taurus:  “Saturn strips off for Mars and takes a tour round the IT department”
Libra:  “The world is full of heroes”
Aries: “All my bags are packed, ready to go.  I’m standing here outside the door.  I hate to wake you up to say goodbye. But the dawn is breaking, it’s early morn’. taxi’s waiting, blown his horn.  I’m all so very lonesome I could die”
Sagittarius: “It’s 9 for an outside line”
Pisces: “The early bird catched the worm, so take a lie in - you don’t want worms”

plooptionary can be seen being ignored on humour blogs 

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10 Comments so far (Add 1 more)

  1. I’m enjoying the echo Ml.

    Jake - I love Hitchen’s line that ‘these people’ should be selling pencils from cups! And Jake - your comment on Godtube is magnifcent - initially I thought you were aiming for straightforward irony but I could feel your eyes bulging as you subverted your own argument to prove how absurd theirs was. Magnificent posting - let us know if you get an Christian death-threats!

    1. ploop on May 23rd, 2007 at 5:20 pm
  2. Sorry, brain fry here. Didn’t mean to post so many times, Ploop.

    2. Ml on May 23rd, 2007 at 5:09 pm
  3. Evergreen solutions? Huh. Can I have some wine instead?

    3. Ml on May 23rd, 2007 at 5:07 pm
  4. Evergreen solutions? Huh.

    4. Ml on May 23rd, 2007 at 5:07 pm
  5. i’m beyond excitement… just made my first post on Godtube.

    http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1ea0a40344be8a864112

    i decided to see what godtube made of Chris Hitchins hilarious denouncement of Jerry Falwell on CNN. If you didn’t see it, see it.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkAPaEMwyKU

    and couldn’t resist posting a response to the bonkers claptrap godtube inevitably spawned.

    5. Jake Mayle on May 23rd, 2007 at 4:48 pm
  6. not easy being a Scorpio… never has been, never will be.

    thank christ i’m a leo - it’s damn good advice

    6. Jake Mayle on May 23rd, 2007 at 4:36 pm
  7. Life will be easier for you next week Beenzzz - just don’t push away those closest to you, they are only trying to help.

    Avoid men called Darren until 1430 tomorrow EST

    7. ploop on May 23rd, 2007 at 4:02 pm
  8. Damn those ideas! I wish they would quit frying up in my mind wok!

    8. Beenzzz on May 23rd, 2007 at 3:48 pm
  9. I’m really sorry NB - I’ve consulted my mystical binoculars and it would appear that accordians are a bad omen. I’d steer clear of apples for therest of the day and you should be ok. Don’t ride a horse either

    9. ploop on May 23rd, 2007 at 3:22 pm
  10. Hey, I’m a Virgo and I like accordions! Does that mean I’M in power? That’d be just dandy!

    10. N.B. Goldstein on May 23rd, 2007 at 3:14 pm

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