1.V = volume of informed press coverage on actual issues.

The flaw in this one is obvious, there is no such thing as informed press.

2.P= pressure on America to make any concession that they might be the teeniest weeniest ickle bit accountable for climate change.

Why would we ever do anything so absurd, when we can just keep blaming it all on North Korea and cow farts? (ah, the blissful lack of accountability for being the last super power is so comforting)

3.V = volume of Scientists who will publicly stand up and say it.

I heard that guy died of SARS last year.

I do like that association between world leaders and gas, though. By the way, we Americans are going auction off Lindsey Lohan on Ebay. Any takers? Warning: the product being auctioned could, after purchase, incur further cost in rehabilitation and crashed automobile clean up. The 1st and 2nd runner up bidders will get Paris Hilton and Tare Reid, respectively. All sales are final and based on the stipulation that they can never be returned to the U.S……………ever!

P = days since the end of the cold war
V = days until the stand-off starts again - with shiny new war heads

P = Pressure on Paris Hilton to ’save’ a poor lost soul she meets in prison
V = Amount the poor lost soul’s life improves

You’re onto a winner here cloop - I’m a huge Hooke Fan too. Don’t get me started on Ohm

so by that reckoning it’s probably all the Indians fault right! Because not only do they like cows, they worship the filthy bovine climate changers.

this could be a really useful new ploy for W to deflect attention away from his own country’s oversized carbon foot print by pointing out that actually it’s all Ghandi’s fault!

Brilliant.

P = pressure on other G8 leaders to accept W’s new bovine / indian axis of carbon evil
V = volume of paidfor scientists america needs to prove that the ice caps aren’t melting - it’s just an optical illusion caused by staring at the sun too long

in other matters i’ll bid for Lohan. Sure she’s a crazy horse but it’ll give me some bargaining power opposite Putin.