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Ploop TV - The Happy Princes life of fun

Posted by cloop

In the light of the truly ghastly spectacle of seeing an Andrew Lloyd Webber medley pressed up against P Diddy, straddled by Joss Stone and Tom Jones while Ricky Gervais humiliates himself… oh, and look, there’s funny old Elton John doing his thing ‘This one’s for you Ma’am’ - in other words the ‘Concert for Diana’ which the BBC yawningly screened for 67 consecutive hours over the weekend Ploop TV has spotted an opportunity for more critically protected shows sponsored by the young blue bloods of Britain.

there’s a whole themed evening on this Friday on Ploop TV

kicking off at 7p.m with ‘Live from Mahiki’s Bar’ which is our studio for the evening. Laugh as toffs in polo shirts drink hilarious amounts of house cocktails, vote for ‘which courtier gets the chop’ - a phone-in whereby all Will and Harry’s chums have to convince the public that they’re ‘real’ friends not just hangers-on by being offered increasing amounts of cash to reveal secrets of the brothers. there’s ‘Bash a butler’ where Paul Burrell debases himself once more in a last gasp desperate attempt to curry favour with the house of Windsor. He will be stripped naked, hung from his ankles and have to sing all 233 verses of god save the queen to the tune of ‘Bittersweet Symphony’.

8.00p.m ‘May the Forces be with you’ - a candid searing all access fly on the wall documentary about some of the terrible things Harry has seen in his time as an officer in the Army… from his Sandhurst dormitory. there will be footage of him watching the war on Iraq and talking about it… from his Sandhurst dormitory. Footage of him preparing weapons and equipment to be sent out to Iraq… from his Sandhurst dormitory. Should be pretty special this one.

8.30p.m. Diana - A Tribute. Elton John weeps continuously for 30 minutes straight setting a new world record in the process. Joss Stone will sit alongside in a state of quiet contemplation throughout.

9.00p.m. Whatever happened to the Likely lads - a hilarious spoof on the original series - said to be a personal favourite of HRH the prince of Wales - starring Wills and Harry as two geezers in the North East. It’s going to be like, yah!

9.30p.m Big Brother’s Sovereign Brother - where the boys (and their pals who’ve survived the earlier phone-in) discuss the nominations in the house this week and try to decide whether Jade Goody is in fact fit to be a subject of their Gran.

10.00p.m American Pie. the boys just love this film, and frankly they want to get thoroughly trollied by now and are a bit sick of all these TV types and want to kick them out of Mahiki’s so they can party in private. So let’s put this piece of dumbass americana on for the oiks and leave the boys alone. christ, have you got no respect for their privacy? can’t they just live normal lives? haven’t they given enough already?

and Ploop TV is safe in the knowledege that regardless of how lamentable all this programming is, no-one will dare say it out loud.

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10 Comments so far (Add 1 more)

  1. Gary Barlow can turn a phrase - of this there’s little doubt.

    i’m surprised the frodsham tunesmith couldn’t sort out the Althorp rhyme.

    Sure, Miss. Benson for the likes of me and you it seems an almost insurmountable obstacle but for the tubby chappie from takie thattie i’d have thought it would be a stroll.

    as to whether this actually happened i think we can safely say it did - as that’s what we want it to be.

    glorious posts Miss. Benson. Thanks for picking up the baton.

    1. cloop on July 6th, 2007 at 8:01 am
  2. Miss B apologises for triple post, kept getting bloody error message. Maybe the late Princess D is haunting the ‘net to wreak her revenge. Where’s Derek Acora when you need him?

    2. Miss Benson on July 5th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
  3. PS - is it true that Take That’s opening song at the Diana concert, had this first line, “You, you’re such a big star to me. You’re everything I want to be. But you’re stuck in a hole.”?

    I suppose “you’re buried on an island in Althorp” didn’t quite scan. Such a tricky rhyme.

    3. Miss Benson on July 5th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
  4. PS - is it true that Take That’s opening song at the Diana concert, had this first line, “You, you’re such a big star to
    me. You’re everything I want to be. But you’re
    stuck in a hole.”
    I suppose “you’re buried on an island in Althorp” didn’t quite scan. Such a tricky rhyme.

    4. Miss Benson on July 5th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
  5. PS - is it true that Take That’s opening song at the Diana concert, had this first line, “You, you’re such a big star to
    me. You’re everything I want to be. But you’re
    stuck in a hole.”
    I suppose buried on an island in Althorp didn’t quite scan

    5. Miss Benson on July 5th, 2007 at 4:12 pm
  6. Miss B feels that Cloop doesn’t really understand the agony that is the Prince’s lives. Yes indeed, they have cash, but cash can’t buy you love (oh wait…there was Kate Middelton). The concert was for their dead mother, who they don’t want anyone to discuss or print poictures of. Except when they want to publicise the concert. Which was like, really hard work to organise, ok? They totally had to pick their favourite bands, and try not to perve over Joss Stone, they were thinking about their dead Mum, OK? Yes, they are impossibly over-priveleged, but they are just normal 20 somethings, trying to live normal 20 something lives. With palaces and large fortunes. And Harry really really wants to go to Iraq, it’s just that Granny’s top peeps say it would be a bit of a bad idea. He’s not bothered about the risk he’d out his fellow soldiers in, he knows they’d understand. But it would be a bit rum if he actually got shot. or captured. He’s not sure the Iraqis know how to make Empire-tinis with a swastika twist quite like they do at Boujis. So, Miss B is sure Cloop will know see how truly hell-ish the boys lives are.

    6. Miss Benson on July 5th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
  7. 15 million people tuned in to watch Elton warble. surely as many will turn to see this kind of world record attempt.

    7. cloop on July 4th, 2007 at 6:38 pm
  8. Do you know , I reckon the Likely Lads spoof has got legs. Commission a series on BBC3. Not sure about Elton weeping but I’d probably tune in for 30 minutes of non stop Elton swearing.

    8. Emalyse on July 4th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
  9. Gah! And I thought TV in the U.S. was horrid…

    9. Py Korry on July 4th, 2007 at 12:17 am
  10. cloop - I love it.

    Elton weeping for 30 minutes, that will be fantastic. I’m sure just 5 minutes after he’s broken the record, Chris De Burgh will have penned another of his idiotic songs

    10. ploop on July 3rd, 2007 at 4:12 pm

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