Posted by cloop
In the light of the truly ghastly spectacle of seeing an Andrew Lloyd Webber medley pressed up against P Diddy, straddled by Joss Stone and Tom Jones while Ricky Gervais humiliates himself… oh, and look, there’s funny old Elton John doing his thing ‘This one’s for you Ma’am’ - in other words the ‘Concert for Diana’ which the BBC yawningly screened for 67 consecutive hours over the weekend Ploop TV has spotted an opportunity for more critically protected shows sponsored by the young blue bloods of Britain.
there’s a whole themed evening on this Friday on Ploop TV
kicking off at 7p.m with ‘Live from Mahiki’s Bar’ which is our studio for the evening. Laugh as toffs in polo shirts drink hilarious amounts of house cocktails, vote for ‘which courtier gets the chop’ - a phone-in whereby all Will and Harry’s chums have to convince the public that they’re ‘real’ friends not just hangers-on by being offered increasing amounts of cash to reveal secrets of the brothers. there’s ‘Bash a butler’ where Paul Burrell debases himself once more in a last gasp desperate attempt to curry favour with the house of Windsor. He will be stripped naked, hung from his ankles and have to sing all 233 verses of god save the queen to the tune of ‘Bittersweet Symphony’.
8.00p.m ‘May the Forces be with you’ - a candid searing all access fly on the wall documentary about some of the terrible things Harry has seen in his time as an officer in the Army… from his Sandhurst dormitory. there will be footage of him watching the war on Iraq and talking about it… from his Sandhurst dormitory. Footage of him preparing weapons and equipment to be sent out to Iraq… from his Sandhurst dormitory. Should be pretty special this one.
8.30p.m. Diana - A Tribute. Elton John weeps continuously for 30 minutes straight setting a new world record in the process. Joss Stone will sit alongside in a state of quiet contemplation throughout.
9.00p.m. Whatever happened to the Likely lads - a hilarious spoof on the original series - said to be a personal favourite of HRH the prince of Wales - starring Wills and Harry as two geezers in the North East. It’s going to be like, yah!
9.30p.m Big Brother’s Sovereign Brother - where the boys (and their pals who’ve survived the earlier phone-in) discuss the nominations in the house this week and try to decide whether Jade Goody is in fact fit to be a subject of their Gran.
10.00p.m American Pie. the boys just love this film, and frankly they want to get thoroughly trollied by now and are a bit sick of all these TV types and want to kick them out of Mahiki’s so they can party in private. So let’s put this piece of dumbass americana on for the oiks and leave the boys alone. christ, have you got no respect for their privacy? can’t they just live normal lives? haven’t they given enough already?
and Ploop TV is safe in the knowledege that regardless of how lamentable all this programming is, no-one will dare say it out loud.
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