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The science of zealots

Posted by ploop - a poor speller according to critics on humour blogs and his mother

I would never walk into a church and start trying to ’save’ the believers inside by telling them there was no God and they were wasting their time. It’s for this reason (along with lack of sleep) that I nearly got into a rather ugly scrap last night. I was joined at my table in the local pub by a Christian spreading the ‘good word’ and insisting on trying to concert me.

Don’t get me wrong - I am very pleased he is happy. Just leave me alone. What’s more, why am I so polite that while he’s spouting bollocks and laying a bible-reeking turd into my personal space I don’t tell him I think he’s a freak? Instead I smile absently as I think about a scientific knock down for every platitude he uttered. It struck me - as science marches on , being religious must feel like an increasingly odd place to be.

Anyway, it helped me formulate he following graph before I nailed his hands to the table and tattooed “God promises you a place in heaven if you punch my self satified face” on his forehead … oh the twisted irony.

A good night ruined

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This entry was written by ploop and posted on July 6, 2007 at 3:10 pm and filed under Funny Graphs, Crackpot Christianity. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Post a comment(Latest is displayed first) or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

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12 Comments so far (Add 1 more)

  1. i lovelovelove the new look. and i hatehatehate folks like the one who tried to “convert” anyone within listening range.

    not a fan of “organized” religion these days. maybe that’s what happens when one gets older/wiser/more cynical/less enamored by the “clergy” (no offense, Chris, my older son, the “reformed Catholic”, considered pursuing the priesthood once upon a time…) ; )

    1. neva on July 12th, 2007 at 9:17 pm

  2. Thanks for the offer of the interview Mike, but I think I’ll politely decline … I really am frightfully dull.

    Cloop - d’you fancy it?

    2. ploop on July 10th, 2007 at 6:46 am

  3. Hello,

    We would like to do an interview with you about your blog for
    www.BlogInterviewer.com . We’d like to give you the opportunity to
    give us some insight on the “person behind the blog.”

    It would just take a few minutes of your time. The interview form can
    be submitted online at http://bloginterviewer.com/submit-an-interview

    Best regards,

    Mike Thomas

    3. Mike Thomas on July 9th, 2007 at 5:28 pm

  4. Thanks for all the comments on the new look - and thankyou for all making my get up off my ass to change it in the first place.

    Chris: good luck on becoming a pastor. I agree, the problem with any generalisation, is that it’s desperately unfair on the minority. I simply resented someone affording themselves the right to tell me what to think.

    Thanks Nurse - yep, concert was a typo for convert but quite a fun one!

    Py - agreed, but it shouldn’t be a challenge should it?

    Brent - those were the days … a soft cover through a tv screen. Rock and roll.

    Diesel - details, details!

    Robert, point taken - lack of sleep for a pessimist is dangerous!

    4. ploop on July 8th, 2007 at 7:13 pm

  5. Hey mr ploop dude. As someone who is a believer and a future Pastor, I am always baffled by this kind of approach. (going into the lions den, as it were) I have seen a lot of heated debates between science and religion. Each side always trying to “win”. (which neither side can do) I don’t believe science and faith are mutually exclusive, but self righteousness and intellectual snobbery are. No one ever truly converted someone who didn’t want to hear it. I hope you wont lump us all in with this silly person. Love the new look.

    5. Chris on July 8th, 2007 at 1:58 am

  6. Like the new look :)

    6. Chris C on July 7th, 2007 at 6:24 am

  7. was “concert’ a typo or did he serenade you as he attempted conversion?

    love the new look by the way

    7. nursemyra on July 7th, 2007 at 2:37 am

  8. I work with a couple of “true believers” and it can be pretty tough to work with since, well, I’m NOT a believer.

    8. Py Korry on July 6th, 2007 at 11:37 pm

  9. I once got so aggressive after watching an episode of NOVA that I put a bible through the television screen.

    It was softcover, which requires much more stamina to achieve screen penetration than say, a lead lined bible or perhaps a bible-grenade.

    Those were the days.

    9. Brent on July 6th, 2007 at 11:31 pm

  10. Whoa! I was just here this morning and it didn’t look like this. :) Just wanted to let you know that I love this one.

    10. Howard on July 6th, 2007 at 9:36 pm

  11. So the peak of science was during the Inquisition?

    11. Diesel on July 6th, 2007 at 8:34 pm

  12. hmm, there might also be a close correlation of aggression and lack of sleep caused by new additions to the family?!

    talking of poor spelling, there are at least two errors in the post above too - or was that a deliberate ploy to have us raise our heads above the parapet so you could tattoo slogans on our foreheads?

    12. Robert McIntosh on July 6th, 2007 at 5:56 pm

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