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Author Archives: Paul Johnson

Friday gags?

Not your usual ploop post this but I rather enjoyed this.  I enjoy the idea of taking a pop at the weather - opening a dialogue with it.  So much so I posted a comment … I don’t know what came over me.
Also, Drizzler’s been on to me offering up an extremely strange and frankly […]

Popularity: 1% [?]

ploop-tionary: categorised bollocks

I am convinced I am the man for the job … I just need a little help.  I am convinced, with a little training, I can sit down in an hour-long business meeting and talk eloquently and confidently without actually saying anything other than bollocks.  Not come up with a single idea.  Add absolutely nothing […]

Popularity: 2% [?]

101 great quotes: Television (Part 3)

OK – it was never going to be a weekly series … I was too busy writing about monsters, getting angry at the television and entertaining myself writing ploop TV. 

On the subject of TV there was a programme on this morning and, I am not joking, an adopted man had to guess who […]

Popularity: 12% [?]

Ploop TV – The problem: Lay-abouts, scroungers and immigrants – the solution: let your pets shoot them!

In the not too distant future … Ploop TV has listings from tonight’s TV

2100-2200. My Gun + my problem +my pet = your face. YouTube

In a desperate attempt to bring ‘shooting back the people’ the Conservative Government in association with the Daily Mail and YouTube launch their major gun-fest TV series ‘My Gun + my […]

Popularity: 11% [?]

My Child NEEDS an allergy

I’ve got to give this a bit more thought but I’ve realised my son just isn’t special enough.  He’s a loser.  Rubbish.  An un-son.
He has no allergies and isn’t intolerant to any foods.  It’s the 21st century and the little squirt needs to wise up.  You get zero attention, nothing at all, if you don’t […]

Popularity: 4% [?]