plooptionary http://www.plooptionary.com Questionable graphs inspired by politics, celebrity and news Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:12:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 Spiders – a force for good or evil? http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/08/spiders-a-force-for-good-or-evil/ http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/08/spiders-a-force-for-good-or-evil/#comments Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:08:51 +0000 ploop optimism pessimism spaniel pessimists evangelical bloom huffingtonpost healthmgmtrx http://www.plooptionary.com/?p=530 I don’t have a problem with optimism in dogs. I love it. Every next second is potentially the best ever to a spaniel and I accept that. In people, however, optimism can be tiresome. Come to think of it, pessimism can be tiresome too – yet I don’t mind that in cats. So there you go, 2.5 sentences wasted on my indecisiveness.

I do however, have some top notch science at hand to workout which breed of human I am dealing with. It involves the simple introduction of a spider.

Spiders and optimism

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]]> http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/08/spiders-a-force-for-good-or-evil/feed/ 0 Alternative therapies – coining it in by conning http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/05/alternative-therapies-coining-it-in-by-conning/ http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/05/alternative-therapies-coining-it-in-by-conning/#comments Fri, 05 Feb 2010 14:24:39 +0000 ploop http://www.plooptionary.com/?p=379 the cash grabbing vulgarity of alternative therapies

]]> http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/05/alternative-therapies-coining-it-in-by-conning/feed/ 1 iTunes Genius Sidebar is crushing the nations cool http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/05/itunes-genius-sidebar-is-crushing-the-nations-cool/ http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/05/itunes-genius-sidebar-is-crushing-the-nations-cool/#comments Fri, 05 Feb 2010 09:34:23 +0000 ploop itunes genius apple apple jedward cool sidebar sidebar http://www.plooptionary.com/?p=506 A couple of days ago I tweeted on Twitter:

I feel so dirty – my genius sidebar on iTunes has just suggested Jedward … I feel judged, wrongly

I still feel that same – especially as the next day it suggested Van Halen! Please bear in mind, I’ve been buying stuff by The XX, African Soul Corporation and Elbow … I’m cool. But the iTunes Genius Bar had a different view of me … it clearly viewed me as a loser and, I admit, my self esteem has taken a knock.

The Tweet made it over to Facebook and, bless my supportive group of friends, I was roundly mocked. Then, the very witty Emma Molyneux, mocked up a letter from Apple explaining the sidebar’s decision … my feeling is, she’s working on the inside. Are Apple working to erode the cool and artistic integrity of our nation – we must be told!

“Dear Mr Johnson,

I am so sorry to hear you are not entirely satisfied with the services of your Itunes Genius sidebar.
You seem to think, based on your previous downloads that we are not suggesting the correct genre of music for you.

Unfortunately most of the recommendations are not infact based on previous downloads but simply on Apple’s newly developed Cool sensor.

It has not had much publicity so far but you will be reading about it soon I’m sure.

It’s quite complicated technology to go into here but basically it just knows what you really want to listen to but are maybe just not able to admit it …. even to your self….. Yet.

We just know what you really want and one day We know you will thank us.

Hope this clears up your queries.

Have a nice day.”

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]]> http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/05/itunes-genius-sidebar-is-crushing-the-nations-cool/feed/ 3 Kids, what would Katie Price do in this situation? http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/04/kids-what-would-katie-price-do-in-this-situation/ http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/04/kids-what-would-katie-price-do-in-this-situation/#comments Thu, 04 Feb 2010 10:48:51 +0000 ploop katie role price price models model terry inquisitr http://www.plooptionary.com/?p=478 Don’t get me started on role models. Please, don’t.

Actually it’s too late, I’m started on role models. The thing that has me taking beta-blockers to stop me going into a gun fuelled rage, is than none of the muppets who are told they are bad role models when they horse up have any idea they are role models when they are actually doing well.

It must come as a suprise to someone like Katie Price that she’s a rolemodel when she gets paid for having big tits and eating insects. Who’s she a role model to? 7 year old girls who want to be buxom? Hedgehogs who admire how many grubs she can pack away? No – she’s a role model to absolutely no-one. And if she is, then we’re in a shockingly perilous state … “come one kids, think what Jordon would do in this situation” is not a national apiration surely. So why are the tabloids acting like she’s somehow corrupted our moral code?

Katie Price and John Terry as role models

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]]> http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/04/kids-what-would-katie-price-do-in-this-situation/feed/ 0 Tidy, designer workstations make me very anxious http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/03/tidy-designer-workstations-make-me-very-anxious/ http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/03/tidy-designer-workstations-make-me-very-anxious/#comments Wed, 03 Feb 2010 13:47:22 +0000 ploop designer desk tidy urgent fact release press site http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/03/tidy-designer-workstations-make-me-very-anxious/ I am not concerned by the people who’ve visited plooptionary HQ who will claim that the following graph is in the ‘you would say that category’. The graph below is not a point of view, it’s scientific fact. It was created following an urgent press release from someone in a white coat who’d been doing stuff with petri dishes and rats.

My inspiration was not from catching site of my own desk (sorry Americans, work station) but seeing this site

designer workstations concern me

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]]> http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/03/tidy-designer-workstations-make-me-very-anxious/feed/ 1 Short Skirts – so much to answer for http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/02/short-skirts-so-much-to-answer-for/ http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/02/short-skirts-so-much-to-answer-for/#comments Tue, 02 Feb 2010 10:56:24 +0000 ploop skirts weather motoring cars fashion techtags http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/02/short-skirts-so-much-to-answer-for/ Cars, weather and motoring

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]]> http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/02/02/short-skirts-so-much-to-answer-for/feed/ 1 Comfort makes me very uncomfortable http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/01/29/comfort-makes-me-very-uncomfortable/ http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/01/29/comfort-makes-me-very-uncomfortable/#comments Fri, 29 Jan 2010 15:11:56 +0000 ploop http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/01/29/comfort-makes-me-very-uncomfortable/ Beware comfort, be very aware

]]> http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/01/29/comfort-makes-me-very-uncomfortable/feed/ 1 Extremes in different guises http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/01/28/extremes-in-different-guises/ http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/01/28/extremes-in-different-guises/#comments Thu, 28 Jan 2010 10:16:45 +0000 ploop tennis murray andy zemanta english scottish plays nadal http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/01/28/extremes-in-different-guises/ I’m writing this as Andy Murray plays in the semi final of the OZ open.  I’m hoping it isn’t prophetic.  That said, whatever happens in the tennis, the graph holds as the Scottish only call Murray British if he loses.  He’s Scottish, not English, if he wins.

religion sport extremism and the english

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]]> http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/01/28/extremes-in-different-guises/feed/ 0 iPhone versus Blackberry from the unreliable horse’s mouth http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/01/26/iphone-versus-blackberry-from-the-unreliable-horses-mouth/ http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/01/26/iphone-versus-blackberry-from-the-unreliable-horses-mouth/#comments Tue, 26 Jan 2010 12:51:23 +0000 ploop blackberry iphone apple zemanta applications aaplnow cnet killerstartups http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/01/26/iphone-versus-blackberry-from-the-unreliable-horses-mouth/ Two weeks ago I was a younger man.  I was naive. Looking back I had so much to learn.  Two weeks ago I wrote the following post:

“For all you Apple evengelists out there who enjoy nothing more that trying to get me off my Blackberry and onto an iPhone.  Although, I’m sure you’ve probably got one of your apps to stop anti iphone messages from displaying on your scratched little screen …”

I am happy to admit I was wrong. I now have an iPhone and am concerned I’ve wasted 2 years of my life by not having one.  Admitedly – the time would have been spent playing with apps.  But it would have been happy time.

iphone versus blackberry

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]]> http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/01/26/iphone-versus-blackberry-from-the-unreliable-horses-mouth/feed/ 4 What’s that smell? Ah, it’s a cat owner http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/01/25/whats-that-smell-ah-its-a-cat-owner/ http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/01/25/whats-that-smell-ah-its-a-cat-owner/#comments Mon, 25 Jan 2010 15:48:39 +0000 ploop cats owners americablog zemanta proves buried gadling traveling http://www.plooptionary.com/2010/01/25/whats-that-smell-ah-its-a-cat-owner/ I’m a dog person.  We’ve got a cat at home and, to be honest, we don’t get on.  I know what’s going on in my dog’s mind when she’s looking at me – happy thoughts.  I am convinced, behind the whiskers, my cat has spent her whole life looking down her nose at me.  She’s planning stuff and most of it revolves around getting me either humiliated or killed.

So there you have it – behind dolphins, cats are the animals I trust least.  Don’t get me started on their owners.cats and their owners - a concern

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